The Things We Don't Say
by ShadowDanseur
Summary: Response to a challenge. Mulder is in therapy, but avoids talking about the reason he is there.


**Author's Note: This is a one shot written as a response to a challenge. I wrote it in about 45 minutes. As always, reviews are welcome and appreciated! **

**Spoilers: None**

**Disclaimer: Not mine, but that would be sweet!**

**_The Things We Don't Say_**

Mulder glanced around at the pictures adorning the walls, at the fabric and color of the carpet, anywhere but at the man sitting before him. He hated this office, hated his presence here. He would have liked to be angry at Skinner, but when he really stopped to think about it he couldn't blame the other man. In fact, he had expected something like this to happen sooner than it had.

"How are you today, Agent Mulder?"

"I'd be better if I wasn't here," Mulder retorted

Dr. Lipinski just gave him the same look he always did when Mulder gave him a cynical reply. It annoyed him, that look. The other man would just fix him with that irritatingly solicitous stare and wait patiently for Mulder to give in. Sadly, it had become a ritual for them in the last two weeks. The sessions always started out like this, and ended something like it too. It was wearing on him, but he would never admit it.

"I'd like to talk about your sister today, Fox," The blonde man stated, "And what you think happened to her. That is why you're here."

"I'm here because I was ordered here by my superior," Mulder shot back, "And I'm not talking about anything with you."

The doctor sighed and set his pen down upon his open pad of paper. Mulder thought he might feel bad for the unaccommodating way he was treating the other man, if he wasn't already predisposed to hate him. He knew it wasn't easy for people to talk to him. Well, except Scully. She always knew how to deal with him.

Dr. Lipinski seemed to pick up on something then, maybe a change of expression, because he switched tactics on him.

"How is Agent Scully this morning?" The doctor queried

"She's fine," Mulder replied

"Is there a case you're working on?" He continued

"Not right now."

"What do you do when there isn't a case to work on?"

"Catch up on paperwork, mostly," Mulder said, shrugging, "Take long lunches."

He wasn't being entirely forthcoming, but this was at least a safe subject. The other man never took his green eyes from Mulder's face, always observing and gauging his reactions. If there was one thing Mulder hated, it was being under scrutiny. On the other hand, the good doctor was never going to let him leave if he didn't give him something. He was left to the lesser of two evils, he figured.

"Do you talk to Agent Scully about your sister?" Dr. Lipinski asked

Mulder tried not to squirm in his seat. He wasn't sure he liked where this was going.

"There isn't much Scully and I don't talk about," He said evasively

"But you don't talk about everything?"

"Well … no."

"What don't you talk about?" The doctor challenged

"I don't think that's any of your business," Mulder answered, on his guard

"Why not?"

"It's personal."

"More personal than the loss of your sister?"

Mulder bristled at that reply, and unconsciously clenched his hand into a fist. He decided that as soon as he was done here he was going to march right in to Skinner's office and do one of two things: punch the other man, or resign. He wasn't sure which it would be; he had no idea what choice he would make until he was out of this office and in his superior's. A lot could be said for being in the heat of the moment.

"If I remember correctly, didn't you and Agent Scully both lose a sister?" Dr. Lipinski prodded

"Yes," Mulder replied, tight lipped

"But you don't talk about that?"

"No."

"Why not? Don't tell me you just haven't had the opportunity."

Mulder was tired; tired of always fighting. Tired of all this damn questioning. He idly wondered what Scully would say if she knew he had been relegated to counseling. He had meant to tell her, but he felt so embarrassed he didn't know how to. Not that she would think any less of him, of course. She was Scully, his touch stone. His constant.

"I can't," He said quietly, resignedly

"Because she won't let you, or because you won't let you?"

"It's complicated."

"By that you mean that you're afraid."

Mulder ran a hand through his already unruly hair. He could feel something inside him breaking, afraid that it was the wall holding in all the guilt and pain he was denying.

"I don't know what to say," He stated simply

"But she's your one in a million, you said. Doesn't that make it easier?"

"No, it makes it harder."

"I see."

There was a long pause in which neither of them spoke, but Mulder could hear the doctor's pen whisking across his pad of paper. He was experiencing no small amount of inner turmoil, the doctor's questions having opened some very serious doors. He really wanted to be done here now, wanted to retreat to his basement office with his partner. The office was safe; she was safe.

"I'm going to challenge you with something, Agent Mulder. It won't be easy; that's why it's called a challenge. I want you to talk to your partner about the difficult things. It can be face to face or in a letter, but I want you to lay it all out in the open. Tell her all of your deepest fears."

Mulder just stared at him.

"What? How will that help anything?"

"That's something you'll have to find out as you go," Dr. Lipinski answered, "And I want to see you back next week."

Mulder stood, frustrated and feeling mutinous. He was glad to be done and made his way swiftly to the door. Just as his hand closed around the door knob, the sound of the other man's voice caught his attention.

"There are a lot of things in life that are painful and hard to deal with, Agent Mulder, but I think you'll find that the most painful ones - the ones that can cripple us, if given the chance - are the things we don't say."

Mulder said nothing in response. He merely opened the door and disappeared down the hall, passing Skinner's office on his trek to the basement office.


End file.
